Work On, Move On, Live More

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Blog #1: What are your weaknesses? How did you overcome it?

                   In a perfect world, you would be really good at everything. Having a successful career and life, happy family, and many more without any problems at all. Then again, in an ideal world, you'd also have fantastic hair, abs of steel, high I. Q, and or a winning lottery ticket in your pocket. However, the truth is we are in the imperfect world, we all have to face the fact that we're good at some things, just passable at others, and downright lousy at some that are really important. 

Each person bears a set of strengths and weaknesses. This is connected to the reality that our life is also filled with a variety of challenges, ups, and downs that influence our strengths to turn into weaknesses or otherwise. I've  known a person who can inspire us all to work on, move on, and live more and I'm  going to share her story.

              The protagonist in our story for this blog was born on October 12, 2000, meaning to say she will be turning 19 this coming October 12 this year. The girl was very close to me and I can say that I really, really, really know her. We spend hours talking and sharing ideas in our life. She is the oldest among her siblings. She is the kind of person who is family-oriented. There was a time when she talked about her past. She was back then in her elementary years wherein she experiences to be bullied and character assassinated because of her social status. The reason behind this is her family is in a financial crisis. Her mother and father that time was a Sampaguita vendor. One of her weaknesses at that time is that she is judging herself, pulling herself down. She always taught that she can't do anything because her classmates are better than her. She is shy, perhaps an introvert person. She also told me that another factor that contributed to her weakness is that her relatives themselves were the ones who look down on her family. They experience to beg for food or for some money and sometimes they experienced to take water just to paved starving. They don't have anything to sustain their wants. At that early age, she already opens her eyes to the reality of life. She also experiences to walk from school to home and home to school, wherein the distance is very far especially at her age. She also experiences to work and sell flowers and snacks to help her parents. She's the oldest and her responsibility that time is too heavy. However, one scenario in her life conquered her weaknesses. The typhoon "Ondoy" hit the Philippines and many houses and families in the Luzon area were damaged because of the said typhoon.  She witnessed how God work at that time. Her mother is on its trip to Laguna to buy Sampaguita flowers. Her father that time was not on their side, because it leaves them when her mother and father had a misunderstanding. Her sister, the youngest and she, was left behind in school. Due to the suspension of classes, they go through the flood, and in the heavy rain. In all, that typhoons brought devastation in their life. When her mother goes back, she witnessed her cry. And by that instance her weaknesses became resolves. It really touches her heart. She works on her weaknesses by orienting herself about her goals. When she excels at school the bullies stop. She also aids her introvert personality.

              In her high school years, many difficulties challenge her. Her father who she idolized and become her motivation in making decisions and on working at the home and school change. Her parents had weekly misunderstandings. She and her sister suffer. They witnessed violence and informed by the dark secrets of her family. Furthermore at school, in her first year of entering high school, she experienced to be bullied again.  Her motivation when she was in her elementary years unconsciously fade. Actually, she also said to me that she had depression, taking medications. She didn't have the energy to talk, she just waking up in the morning and tend to go in school because she wants to set herself free in her chaotic home. Her fear of socializing, fear of participating and fear of loving and trusting other people developed. But you know, everything really happens for a reason. This continues until 2nd-year high school.  One night her sister talk to her, with teary eyes. " Ate wag ka naman sumuko... nandito pa naman ako" And her whole sentimental burdens suddenly fall apart.  Her hope to continue her life lightens up. She had a chance to ignore what is happening at home and strive more at school. She had her eagerness to finish studying so that she can have the power to save her mother, sister and herself.

Years past and the bullies stop as she works on in empowering herself.  When she started to be in her 4th year in high school, another thing that touches her heart was her teacher. I remember that time how this friend of mine looks like. We're  doing one of the most tiring activity that time and she does the dishes, and as I observed her, she actually doing that simply because she wants to make herself tired because she believed that it will help her sleep early and at least divert her attention away from the things she was going on through. And then the adviser of her sister ( because they were schoolmates) called for her. I go with her because at that time I am the only one that she has. I saw her sister crying, and I noticed that it have a wound in her ankle. As she sits down in front of the teacher, the teacher suddenly says these words, "Kung pagod ka na, it's okay to cry nak". And I feel and saw how it melts her heart. The friend that I see to have a cold heart suddenly breaks down and cry too much. Problems of her that time seems to have a tempo, they are synchronized in attacking her. I also remembered that she was finding a way to have money to pay the tuition of her sister.  But the question is how she survived junior high school? The answer for me is moving on.  She accepts the fact that she had that life and there are still some things that she can do to alleviate herself and her family's life. She actually convinced herself that, she's not the only one who has problems like what she was experiencing, she let herself believe that there are still people out there in our country or community that have much more bigger problems. Her weakness in handling her emotions becomes her strength. This happens in a way that, she knows more and understands more herself. She learns from it when it becomes her pattern.

               Moreover, when we get in senior high school I also see how she change herself. In that stage of her life, I witnessed how she struggled in another weakness of hers. Writing stories, poems, essays, and others using the English language was the outstanding one. Which becomes a very noticeable weakness of her. Since we both get the Humanities and Social Science strand, the majority of our subject matters are with the usage of the English language. We both had difficulties in being creative and in presenting ourselves in front of many people by the usage of that universal language. Furthermore, as time passes by, we decided to work on this weakness. We comply with everything that we need to pass in our teachers. And you know as we try our best, we later get in touch with it. I can say that we're not really fluent and good at it now, but at least we can do it better than in the past. And then now we are in college and we both studying at the Philippine Normal University. Recently I've got a chance to talk to her again and sadly she's  In a difficult situation in her life. The pressure of her family, friends, teachers and her relatives in her in excelling in her studies is really stressful. In the morning she always feels the stress and tiredness in getting in time in class. She always fights for her space on the bus and stays like an ingredient in lumpiang shanghai. I am the living witness of her hardships. Last week she was in the hardest part of making decisions. Her father has a bad business and it really affects their family. Her mother got hurt. I know her feeling watching her father violating the rights of her mother and I cannot blame her when there is no longer tears come out in her eyes. Sadly it became a natural phenomenon for her. But when she saw how her sister breakdown her tears and anger burst out. Her weakness at this point now is she doesn't dare to protect her mother and sister in the effect of their father's business brought by the harsh world. She also fears her decisions running in her mind in protecting her father. She was consumed by her own fears. She loves her family and she can't decide how to to make things right. Her love for her family has once become her strength but it also becomes her weakness.

I know too much in the life of this girl. Her name is MYSELF. Still working on things that she has, working on in the weaknesses that she's encountering and strengthening herself as much as she can do. She is so transparent and always wore her heart on her sleeves. She tends to keep her feelings inside as to not show weakness while she stays strong for others. And God was her supportive and caring fan. It became the tie that bound them so they could be their true selves without worry. Having a soft heart in a cruel world is her courage. As she admits and understands her weaknesses she had self-awareness.

And it is I, the protagonist. My friend is myself. We are bind by God. And I am still fighting for this life. I am not a difficult woman. I am simply a strong one. I know my worth. I earn my respect. I have my self-dignity. I am unapologetic. I wear my scars as my best attire. So don't lose hope! Become an alchemist. Transform all your sufferings and weaknesses in your life into gold. Turn fear into fuel, your anxiety to creativity, weaknesses into strengths, ego into spirituality, irritability into discipline.

DON'T ACCEPT WEAKNESS, ACCEPT REALITY OF LIFE. USE THEM AS FUEL TO BECOME YOUR BEST SELF.